When people try to quit drinking alcohol, they often start searching for a substitute. For some, instead of having a pint or bottle of beer at night, they opt for an alcohol-free alternative. Instead of wine, they might choose a nice bottle of sparkling tea, pour it into a lovely glass, and enjoy it. Others might consider replacing alcohol with a different kind of drug. Additionally, some might think, ‘If I can’t relax in the evening with alcohol, maybe I should find another relaxing activity, like playing a video game or watching a movie.’ The idea is to find a replacement for alcohol.
If you’ve clicked on this story, you’re likely trying to do the same. You might be wondering, ‘What can I drink around other people who are drinking? What can I substitute for alcohol at a party so I don’t draw attention?’ You might also be pondering, ‘What can replace my evening reward if I can’t have my beer, wine, or champagne? What can provide that sense of reward, relief, and relaxation?’ How can I find a substitute for alcohol that still gives me those feelings?
Now, you might have clicked on this story expecting me to say, ‘Just buy some alcohol-free spirits and beverages, and everything will be fine.’ However, that approach did nothing for me. There are two key mindset shifts that you need to adopt instead of fixating on the idea of needing a replacement. You see, there are only two situations where we feel the need for a substitute for alcohol. First, when we’re around other drinkers, and second, in the evenings by ourselves or during the day. I’m going to break down these two shifts that you need to make right now.
Around Other Drinkers
So, the first time you might feel the need to replace alcohol is when you’re with other drinkers, right? You’re having a party, you’ve got some friends over for a barbecue, whatever the occasion.
For this first shift, what you need to understand is that people who drink alcohol are not ‘normal’. There is absolutely nothing normal about putting poison in your body to feel normal, right? That is not normal. We have not been designed to consume a drug that destroys our liver, brain, clarity, and confidence. We are not meant to put this stuff in our bodies. However, because we’ve been conditioned from day one of being born, because it’s an addictive drug, and because 90% of the adult population does it, it is totally normalized.
So sometimes when we’re around a lot of people who drink alcohol, we can feel like the odd ones out. But I’m telling you, if you’re not drinking alcohol, you are not the odd one out; you’re the normal person and it’s the drinkerswho are doing the abnormal thing. And I’m not saying that from a place of superiority or anything like that, but you need to wrap your head around this.
You need to see that you don’t need to replace alcohol with an alcohol-free drink. You don’t need to replace alcohol with anything when you’re around other drinkers. You can just socialize. You don’t need to have a drink in your hand; you can just order water. If people feel uncomfortable around you, that’s not your problem. That is their problem. We have been designed to handle social situations without alcohol.
And really, the answer is simple. If you feel like you need to replace alcoholwith something when you’re around other drinkers because not drinking is making you feel uncomfortable, and they start looking at you funny, or questioning you, or pressuring you, well, you either create a boundary with that individual or those individuals, or you simply don’t hang around that kind of people.
Because here’s the thing, on my journey, when I was trying to quit drinking alcohol, it sometimes felt like being crabs in a bucket. Like I was trying to break free, and then all these people were pulling me back in, saying, ‘ Come on, just have one or two. You’re not an alcoholic, just drink with us.’ And I have slipped up many, many times. But these days, I would establish a very clear boundary with those people. And also, if I felt those people weren’t supportive of my decision, or they were critical, guess what? You ain’t my friend. I’m not being around you.
So you don’t need to replace alcohol with anything. You need to get this mindset shift clear, which brings me to the second point you need to wrap your head around.
Thinking Of It As A Reward
What you need to understand is that the ‘reward‘ you think you get from drinking alcohol, whether in the evenings or during the day, regardless of your beverage choice, is merely drug addiction. This may be a bitter pill to swallow, but by consuming alcohol, you keep yourself in a cycle.
When we don’t have alcohol in our body, we don’t feel quite right. We experience a sense of something missing. As soon as we consume a drink, we experience relief and a feeling of relaxation. But what happens next? We don’t drink again, we don’t feel quite right, so we drink again, and then we feel ‘normal’.
So what ends up happening is people drink just to feel normal. In their minds, because they feel miserable without alcohol, when they drink it, it feels like a reward. But there is no reward, right? There’s no reward in putting ethanol in your body, there’s no reward in damaging your health, body, mind, and comfort. How is that a reward? There’s no reward for doing it. The only thing you achieve by drinking alcohol and thinking it’s a rewardis getting stuck in that cycle forever.
The key point in this story is that the best thing to replace alcohol with is nothing. You can drink whatever you want. Water, soda, anything non-alcoholic. Because truly, there’s nothing to replace alcohol with. Alcohol is simply ethanol, a drug.
The idea of needing to replace alcohol stems from the misconception that it’s somehow beneficial. We believe that since it’s a significant part of our lives, we should find something equally valuable to replace it. In reality, there’s nothing we need to replace alcohol with.
When we abstain from alcohol, we replace it with better health, improved relationships, enhanced energy, increased confidence, happiness, and overall well-being. You can drink whatever you want, as long as it’s not alcohol.