Social media is flooded with reels of perfect couples, picture-perfect honeymoons, and captions about soulmates and “forever.” Friends get married, and you feel happy for them — or at least you try to. However, beneath the surface, there’s this nagging voice for some.
Marriage, a commitment of love and trust, also involves entrusting someone with your body and health. In a world where loyalty isn’t always guaranteed, this can be terrifying. This article explores the anxieties surrounding marriage, focusing on the very real fear of infidelity and its potential health consequences, especially for women. We’ll examine why this fear isn’t irrational, how it’s amplified by anxiety, and why society often dismisses these legitimate concerns.
The Biggest Fear: STDs and Betrayal
The biggest reason why I’m scared to get married — I’m terrified my husband will cheat on me and give me a disease (STD). This might seem completely bonkers to you but hear me out.
I’m scared that the man I promise my life to might step outside the marriage, lie about it, and unknowingly — or carelessly — bring something back into our bed. Something that could damage my health permanently. Something that could alter the rest of my life. It’s not just about trust issues or insecurity. It’s basic survival anxiety. And honestly? It’s not irrational.
And before you say, “But Rini, you can just use condoms!” — do you honestly think my husband and I would use protection for the rest of our married life? Come on. And even then, it’s not a fullproof barrier. But that’s another story.
Real Women, Real Risks
These wives trusted their husbands — and paid with their health. This fear isn’t just some overthinking spiral — it’s something real women have lived through.
In 2017, a woman in India contracted HIV from her husband. She found out her husband had been cheating on her with different women throughout their marriage. Another woman contracted multiple STDs from her unfaithful husband. She had found a video of him having sex with another woman.
And who doesn’t know the case of Gisèle Pelicot, a woman married for almost 50 years, contracted multiple STDs via her husband/his accomplices. Her story isn’t just heartbreaking — it’s a brutal reminder of how one person’s betrayal can leave lifelong scars, both emotional and physical.
These stories aren’t rare headlines — they’re just a glimpse of what happens when betrayal isn’t just emotional, but physical too.
The Medical Price of Betrayal
The price women pay for men’s cheating isn’t just emotional — it’s medical. Here’s what nobody warns you about when they tell you to “just trust your partner” — trust doesn’t protect you from STDs.
Of course, women cheat too, and they can put their husbands at risk — but this fear comes from my perspective as a heterosexual woman, worrying about the risks I face in a marriage.
HPV, chlamydia, herpes, syphilis, HIV — it’s not just a list from a health textbook. It’s a list of things real women are diagnosed with because their husbands cheated. And the sickest part? Society still asks, “Why didn’t she notice the signs?” as if it’s our job to play detective just to protect our own bodies.
Anxiety’s Amplifying Effect
For someone with anxiety, paranoia, and hypochondria, this fear is amplified a thousand times. If you’ve ever lived with anxiety, you know the drill. Every stomach cramp becomes cancer in your mind. Every headache feels like a warning sign. Every minor symptom spirals into a Google rabbit hole at 2 AM.
Now imagine layering that over marriage — over trusting someone else’s choices with your health. For someone prone to health anxiety, this isn’t just a fear. It’s a living, breathing nightmare.
Because even if nothing is wrong, the what ifs will never leave.
Dismissal and Stigma
Society treats women like they’re crazy for even having this fear. Here’s the part that stings the most — just admitting this fear out loud gets you labeled as paranoid, insecure, or “not ready for marriage.” Because apparently, women are supposed to trust blindly. We’re supposed to believe in love, even when reality paints a very different picture.
We’re supposed to calm down, stop overthinking, and have faith — even though faith has never stopped a cheating husband from lying through his teeth.
Cheating: A Health Hazard
Cheating isn’t just betrayal — it’s a health hazard women are forced to gamble with. For men, cheating is often treated like a personal slip-up. Something to be forgiven after some groveling and a few therapy sessions.
For women, especially anxious women, it’s a potential death sentence.
We’re not just crying over broken trust. We’re sitting in gynecologist offices, getting swabbed, waiting for results, replaying every sexual encounter in our minds, wondering if we missed a sign.
This isn’t paranoia for the sake of drama. This is rational fear born from generations of women who trusted the wrong men and paid for it with their health.
Conclusion: A Call for Understanding
I’m scared because my anxiety isn’t irrational — it’s survival instinct. This fear doesn’t come from thin air. It comes from history. From real stories. From real hospital rooms.
I’m scared of getting married because, in this world, loving someone enough to marry them means trusting them with your life. And for anxious women? That’s not romantic. That’s terrifying.
Marriage is more than just love; it involves significant health risks, particularly for women. Recognizing and addressing these fears, rather than dismissing them, is essential for building healthier, more honest relationships. It’s time to acknowledge the validity of these anxieties and work towards creating a society where women feel safe and protected, both emotionally and physically, within their marriages.