Have you ever felt like you’re stuck in dating limbo, where you’re more than a friend but less than a girlfriend? It’s a frustrating and emotionally draining place to be. Many women experience this, finding themselves in situationships where they invest time and energy into someone who isn’t fully committed. This article sheds light on the telltale signs that a man is keeping you around only until someone better comes along, drawing from personal experiences and expert advice to help you recognize these red flags. Knowing these signs empowers you to make informed decisions about your relationships, prioritize your well-being, and ultimately find someone who truly values and commits to you. We’ll explore inconsistent behavior, lack of progress, and other key indicators, providing you with the insights you need to navigate the complexities of modern dating.
Sign 1: He Doesn’t Progress the Relationship
One of the most telling signs that a man is playing you is the lack of progression in the relationship. There’s a big difference between going on numerous dates and actually deepening the connection. If you find yourself seeing him often, but the relationship remains stagnant, it’s a major red flag. According to dating coach Elliot Scott, if you’re talking to a guy for two months and you’re not in a relationship, you’re likely being played. Men generally know what they want by that point. In healthy relationships, things move forward naturally and effortlessly. This doesn’t mean rushing into anything, but there should be a clear sense of growth and increasing commitment over time.
Think about your own experiences. Have you been in situations where things felt easy and straightforward from the start? That’s often a sign of genuine interest and compatibility. On the other hand, if you constantly feel like you’re pushing for more, or if he consistently avoids defining the relationship, it’s time to reevaluate whether he’s truly invested in you.
Sign 2: He’s Sporadic with His Communication
Consistent and meaningful communication is essential for any healthy relationship. If a man is genuinely interested in you, he will make the effort to stay in touch regularly. Sporadic communication, on the other hand, is a clear sign that he’s not prioritizing you or the relationship. It suggests that he’s only reaching out when it’s convenient for him, rather than making a consistent effort to connect with you.
Consider how he communicates with you. Does he respond to your messages in a timely manner, or does he often leave you waiting for days? Does he initiate conversations, or is it always up to you to reach out? If his communication patterns are inconsistent and unreliable, it’s a sign that he’s not fully invested in you. While occasional lapses in communication can happen due to busy schedules or unforeseen circumstances, a pattern of sporadic communication is a definite red flag that should not be ignored.
Sign 3: Talks About Being Exclusive But Not in a Relationship
Some men want the benefits of a committed relationship without the actual commitment. They’ll talk about being exclusive but avoid labeling you as their girlfriend or partner. This tactic is often used to keep you hooked and give you false hope that things will eventually change. As Elliot Scott points out, these men want the perks of a relationship without taking on the responsibilities that come with it. They may enjoy the emotional support, intimacy, and companionship you provide, but they’re not willing to commit to you fully.
Pay attention to the language he uses. Does he refer to you as his girlfriend or partner, or does he avoid using those terms? Does he introduce you to his friends and family as his girlfriend, or does he use more ambiguous language? If he’s hesitant to define the relationship, it’s likely because he doesn’t want to be held accountable for his actions. He wants to keep his options open in case someone better comes along, while still enjoying the benefits of your company.
Sign 4: He’s Still On Dating Apps
Discovering that the person you’re seeing is still active on dating apps can be a major blow. It suggests that he’s keeping his options open and isn’t fully invested in you. He might be swiping, messaging, or even going on dates with others, all while leading you to believe he’s exclusive with you. This behavior demonstrates a lack of respect for you and the relationship, and it’s a clear indication that he’s not serious about you.
If you find out that he’s still on dating apps, it’s important to address the issue directly. Express your concerns and ask him for an explanation. If he’s genuinely committed to you and the relationship, he should have no problem deleting his profiles. However, if he becomes defensive or refuses to take his profiles down, it’s a sign that he’s not on the same page as you. In that case, it might be time to reconsider whether this relationship is right for you.
Sign 5: He’s Taking You for Granted
In a healthy relationship, both partners should feel valued and appreciated. If you constantly feel like you’re giving more than you’re receiving, or if he doesn’t seem to recognize your efforts, it’s a sign that he’s taking you for granted. This can manifest in various ways, such as not making an effort to plan dates, not being there for you when you need him, or not expressing his appreciation for you.
When you’re being taken for granted, it’s often a sign that you’re giving him too much too soon. As Elliot Scott explains, men often value what they have to work for. If you’re making it too easy for him, he may not appreciate your worth. It’s important to set boundaries and not give him so much of a good thing when he’s not your boyfriend. This doesn’t mean playing games or being manipulative, but rather ensuring that you’re not investing more in the relationship than he is.
Why Our Relationship Ended
Ultimately, the relationship didn’t work out. Long distance put our relationship to the test, and it couldn’t pass it. When we were on different continents, he couldn’t make the effort to wait for me, an effort that I was willing to make. So, we broke up. Looking back, I always knew that he wasn’t fully choosing me. I realized that my feelings for him were stronger than his feelings for me. I accepted it and removed myself from the situation. If I want commitment, I need to find someone who wants commitment as well.
A Message for Anyone Going Through This
If you’re recognizing these signs in your own relationship, take a moment to reflect: How long are you willing to keep going like this? Picture yourself six months from now—if nothing changes, will you still be okay with where you are in the relationship? Are you willing to stick around and feel unfulfilled, and have your needs unmet? They hardly ever choose you.
Remember, you deserve someone who is ready to commit and fight for you. Don’t settle for being kept around until something better comes along.
Conclusion
Recognizing the signs that a man is playing you until something better comes along is essential for protecting your emotional well-being and ensuring that you’re not wasting your time on someone who isn’t fully invested in you. By understanding these red flags, you can make informed decisions about your relationships and prioritize your own happiness. Remember, you deserve someone who is ready to commit and fight for you. Don’t settle for being kept around until something better comes along. Trust your instincts, set boundaries, and never be afraid to walk away from a situation that isn’t serving you. Your worth is not determined by someone else’s willingness to commit, and you deserve to be with someone who values and appreciates you for who you are.